Speed of lightening, power of thunder…there’s no need to fear …UnderThor is here. But seriously, this is a well Thor-t out film and it is quite obvious that our pure Thor-oughbred Hammer Time hero is a Thor-n in the dark forces trying to knock out the Nine Realms with Aether, pronounced like the anesthetic ether, except it’s much more damaging.
Chris Ahem-sworth is trying to get our attention as he returns as the Mighty Thor in Thor: The Dark World, a sequel that is far superior to its 2011 Thor predecessor that saw Natalie Portman as “you” Jane, falling in love with the blond Norse God of “me” Tarzan Thunder. Thor, Jane, her snitty pal Darcy (Kat Dennings), who acts just like 2 Broke Girls, and mad scientist/loony bin dude Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard) team up with a former villain gone Loki (Tom Huddleston) to take on the Dark Elf Malekith (Christopher Eccleston) and his band of Lord of the Ring looking goons in Vulcan death masks who are trying to one way or an Aether to suffocate the realms into the Dark Shadows of submission.
Before I continue…let me put on the brakes here. When we’re in this world of mythology where demi, hemi and semi gods exist, these folks can take major pummelings, thrown thousands of feet through the air to smash into rocky cliffs, one can drop a 10 ton boulder onto their heads, they can withstand stand punches to the face as strong as the Hulk can deliver…yet nary a scratch. But with a stab of a sword…oops, you’re dead.
Instead of Thor trying to beat the crap out of any villain with his fists or feet, he just needs to use his pseudo-magnetic Mjolnir to smithereen smash any enemy to kingdom come.
So the next time a Westerner guffaws at an over-the-top kung fu film out of China…thou shouldst keep thine thoughts to yourself. It’s just as ludicrous if America tells other countries how to run their governments after America shut down their own government for stupid and selfish reasons…or basically sour grapes…no wonder the Republicans whine. D’oh.
Because at the end of the day, the well choreographed martial arts inspired fight scenes, unarmed and with weapons, would not have had as much excitement, class and steel slashing bewitchment without the influence of the high octane over-the-top, Hong Kong Fant-Asia films.
Hornless Loki is now cool instead of looking like a fool, and the addition of some very funny streamline tongue and cheek mouth offs adds a humorous overtone sorely lacking in Thor.
Jane looks a wee bit glaeked and wimpy moving around Earth and doesn’t remotely sell herself as an intrepid scientist. Yet once she dons the palatial backdrop of Asgard and the creepazoid real villain, she seems to blend in like a feisty Kareem Abdul Jabbar in an Earthly giant contest…you know…one of the Asgard crowd of yore and lore.
East, West, Norse or South, modern or mythological, Aether or ether, volcano or lava lamp, Loki good or bad, Odin (Anthony Hopkins) great leader or two-faced father, Thor the man or demi-god…all I can say is:
If I had a hammer,
I’d hammer in the celestial morning,
I’d hammer in the milky way (thanks to Rene Russo, we know the origin)
All over the this universe,
I’d hammer out warning,
I’d hammer out restoring (the Nine Realms),
I’d hammer out love between,
My brother and my brother,
All over these Nine Realms.